Check. Checkmate

by Simone on April 18, 2011

Sometimes don’t you look at people and their hair and compare them to Chess Pieces? Me too. If you think about it really hard you probably date, live next to, or work with a Rook, they are like the folks I see  Triathlons, they’re the sporty people. They look fabulous in their gear, but then you see them in street clothes or their work kit and it can make your stomach cramp.

How does this happen? I’m thinkin’ that for this minority that spandex actually works. Maybe it’s because the choices are few. It’s too big for my brain………. Regardless, their hair is either in a ponytail or cut military close. Realize I am speaking of either gender, these are wild times are they not? I just met a couple living with a piano, 3 cats a dog and a chinchilla in a 700 square foot Yurt. Wild times I tell you.


(peek a boo)

Bishops are the unsuspecting types, quiet, always has the recycling bin out on time and his/her yard (and hair) is weed free and manicured, nothing is out of place. Bishops have stock in Brill Cream, Aqua Net and Bowling Alleys. The Bishop may or may not be pious, will wear mostly solid colours (Safari comes to mind) but could bust out in a leisure suit just to keep the neighbours guessing. Bishops tend to do the right thing.

Many of the kids who have that wannabe gangsta look remind me of wannabe Kings. They pose and they posture and try to keep up (with what, not even they know) They sport their G-Money necklaces, bracelets and rings, their pants are too low to walk properly and their hair is hooded.

I have particular trouble with this Chess Man/Woman/creature-thing because, quite frankly I can’t even tell if they have hair. They certainly do not patronize the Salon,Beauty Parlour or Barber Shop. They do keep the Tattoo Parlour in business however. The gold grill for the teeth must be a hard ticket to find, but clearly there is some creative Dentistry going on. Donning of the gold tooth, now that reeks of royalty! Right homie? Wannabe Kings most often could use a good treatment and they would be right as rain.


(a king counting his gold)


The mullet wearers are definitely the Knights. The long mane in the back coupled with short and spiky on top or a longer softer flowy look. The Knights are the neighbour you love to live next to. They have all the machinery, always have the six-pack of beer, extra egg or plumb bob and the good will to lend a hand. They have all the self-confidence in the world, while not having a clue of how frightening their hair looks. But heck, a Mullet goes with everything (along with a good laugh) so somehow it all works out. The Knight always has a brain booster blog significant other. Amazing, but true. If you go back to the chessboard you can see that Knights come in a pair.
It puts a whole new spin on the mullet debacle doesn’t it?

Pawns are plentiful. Though there are some pretty spicy prawns pawns (who can appear as queen or a wannabe king) most Pawns wear their hair in no particular style. Even if they spend time and money in the Salon they are the Chessman/woman who wants to ‘wash and wear’. Pawns keep it simple and functional, they have other priorities. They like what they like and their to-do lists are calling. On most days (Saturday in particular) Salons around the world are teeming with Pawns. Pawns are an excellent example of not being able to judge a book by it’s cover. Underneath could be a tigress within, a troubadour or heck……… just a lemming.

The Queen is easily spotted from afar. Flashy Liberace clothing, big BIG and BIGGER hair  lots of cologne, make up and well chosen jewelry (costume or real).The Queen is secretly a label lover but in certain parts tries to appear spiritual. The Queen has confidence, a good laugh, can be affluent or not, queens are all about magazines and movies and of course……..BEAUTY. Oh they are lovely (or handsome) they are the ones in the Salon during the week. Looking good at every moment is a priority. Their To-do lists start with Queen and end with Queen. Queens have drive, moxie, chutzpah, and a flat iron tucked in their bag. Queens seek out treatments, as opposed to being pulled over and cuffed for needing one. Queens can set trends or simply keep up with the joneses. One thing fo sho’, the Queen is keenly aware that when there are just a few chess pieces left on the board, the one with the best hair wins.

Because no matter how you play the game, it always comes back to the follicle.

Do you have a story about doing hair or having your hair done? 
If so, i want to hear from you for my Book Project. Please leave your comment and we’ll ‘Tawk”.

– Simone




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