From Fog to Blog

by Simone on December 4, 2011

You know how sometimes life gets in the way?  You have a great vacation planned, and something horrid happens at work. Suddnely you are land locked. Perhaps you’ve got a Bat Mitzvah approaching and you decide to cut your own bangs this time since your stylist is away at a tantra retreat,  or you are making dinner for your boss and his grandmother and you realize he’s arriving in 20 minutes and you can’t find the blow torch for the Creme’ Brulee. He calls to beg forgiveness, he’s going to be late – OH YES, THERE IS A GOD … you’ve got time to fabricate a torch with your blowdryer, hairspray and a paper towel roll. Dinner goes off without a hitch, except that during dessert, the cute little doggies you have start farting and belching and, well ………
suddenly, you want to shoot yourself. Nothing went as planned.
You fancy yourself a bit of a writer, but if you don’t’ write does that still apply?
Does ‘writing’ in your head while lying awake at night count? Great ideas, Hilarious ideas, but how to remember them come morning. Your beloved sleeps peacefully next to you and there is NO WAY YOU ARE GOING TO MOVE and wake the dogs, who would then wake the cats, who would ultimately wake precious.
Are you feelin’ me here?

I lived through a sanity test. I was without working outlets, a wireless printer or lights for 7 freaking weeks. This was far worse than the remodel on my entire house that left me without hot water or toilets for 4 months.  Papers were piled hip deep on the office floor. In no time at all there was cat litter mixed in with spilled coffee, dog toys and a sprinkling of mulch. It was total and complete chaos.
I used to love my life, suddenly I was living in my idea of full on hell. i am a  big beliver in ‘improvise, adapt and overcome’ as precious calls it. Many a  clever woman can work miracles with a spoon and duct tape – but this was  well beyond what my moxie could muster.
I was at a complete standstill.  absolutely thwarted. a headlamp could only get me so far. This was serious…  I was just about to dial homeland security, but at the last second I decided to  go toward the light, as dim as it may have been. My will to triumph was  strong, I held on by a claw.  at some point I remember the phone ringing and  it was the electrician saying he had an opening. Just in the nick of time!  (I was circling the drain) – oh  thank you buddah, great spirit, allah, vishnu spirit guides, lady Gaga etc. etc. I promptly called my manicurist, and cancelled (with a 48 hour notice) I began to make way for ‘the light’. I had a lot to pull together, but with a wing and a prayer it could all work. The major issue was that we needed a desk of epic proportions and the room allowed for only a Miss Muffett sized tuffet.  what’s a girl to do ????
I’ll answer that…… she does not blog.
But –  like puxatony Phil. I hesitantly poke my head out to a standing room only crowd and declare ‘the blog is on!’ it may be scant, it may be irregular,  I am looking for my sense of humour which is no doubt in the “to do” pile. Focus? it must somewhere in one of the recently re-organized drawers. Creativity? shot to hell but hope springs eternal. I think I may be ready. So much to do, so little time. I am reminded of the sign on my desk reading “got everything done, died anyway”.
and don’t you know…. that even those recently departed still grow hair post mortum. so even in the end, it all comes back to the follicle.
Do you have a story about doing hair or having your hair done?
If so, i want to hear from you for my Book Project. Please leave your comment and we’ll ‘Tawk”. Simone.

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