if lovin' you is wrong, i dont wanna be right

by Simone on December 1, 2010

I know a successful busy woman and her clients pay her top dollar. She has an email newsletter that includes juicy business tips etc. We’ve discussed blogging. I find it a bit weird, I write, I post, and wonder just who is ‘out there’ reading and enjoying?

Anyhow, this coach, i’ll call her Betty, said that the most action she EVER got from her newsletter was when she posted information about her recent bad break-up (and of course they are always bad). She said that other than the bad break-up posting, the 2nd biggest score was when she talked about looking for her dog. She found this odd. What isn’t? i thought. But then i do hair.

In the safe haven of the Salon, It seems that at one time or another everyone talks about ‘a relationship ‘ (with a human, not a dog) we’re talking in the romantic sense not the daily trip to the dog park. They either want one, want out of one or don’t know what to do about the one they are in, or dont know how to lure in the one they want, they are in one but wonder if they should be, they con fab with their posse, they question their own sanity……is it me or is it them? it’s them of course!

The above ad at a local feed store, said it all; Clean, clear, consistent, to the point. This was obviously written by a babe with drive (or in heat?) With luck Ms. Guinea Pig won’t be needing to go on the dole.

Anyhow, back to the salon – Where women come in trying to look good for their partner, lover, spouse, girlfriend, boy friend, s.o. beloved, sweetie, honey, baby, darling, puddin’ pie or  all the above etc. Or they come in preparing to get date-able and snag that special someone.  They try to find just the right look to make them irresistable to Mr. or Ms. Precious. I love listening to the hair strategies and
theories (the most common being “men like it long” No one really knows why this is true, but it is!, those darned fellas) – Others are: ‘Gay men have great style and love women, they know how to bring out a woman’s best look”, “Gay men hate women and make them look like frumpasauruses”, “Straight men can help a woman look sexy, since they know what makes a woman attractive”, “Straight men are assholes, but the hunt is still on for one who’s not by golly!”. “Women are threatened by other women, steer clear of the lady hairstylist”, “Women know how to make another woman feel good, they understandwhat women really want.”,  “Gay women make everyone look dike-y”. “Gay women are so fun and fabulous, maybe i can become gay if i get my hair done by a lesbian”. It’s best to get an appointment at the Salon in the morning when the stylist is fresh. Stylist Betty likes to party until the wee hours, it’s best to see her after she’s had her coffee. It’s best to be the last client, so there is a more relaxed feel, It’s best to come in on a waxing moon/ full moon/ waning moon. It’s best to arrive looking your best so the stylist can see what you’re capable of. It’s best to arrive looking like a frumpasaurous so the stylist will be more inclined to try harder to make gorgeous. Blow drying damages the hair, shampooing damages the hair, Colour is best on dirty hair, There are others of course, but for now, you’ll be spared.


Grandma said there was a lid for every pot. – and just think; at one time or another every lid and every pot had it’s hair done. I see people with bad teeth.  They are coupled, I see people who wear brown shoes with black pants, they are coupled, i see men with long hairs growing from inside their ears and noses, they are coupled. I know people i would deem as totally crazy, they are coupled. I recently saw a man who was bald on top, with long hair past his shoulders, he was probably 120 lbs. wet. He was a hirsute, wearing a T-Shirt that had to have been white once upon a time, to complete the look was a pair of purple velvet leggings and white tube sox delicately wrapped in teva sandals, He looked a lot like a puppet i had as a kid. As i was reaching for the phone to call 911, i saw him get into a green gremlin and kiss his baby darling puddin’ hello and off they went into the sunset. There you have it, a lid for every pot. Is beauty in the eye of the beholder? If love is blind, why spend so much money on clothes and hair?

All you need is love

Which once again makes the salon and therefore the follicle, the center of every universe.

Do you have a story about doing hair or having your hair done? 
If so, i want to hear from you for my Book Project. Please leave your comment and we’ll ‘Tawk”.

If you have a pal who needs a chuckle, please pass this on. Simone

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