Salon Eccentrics

by Simone on December 1, 2011

After 30 years of standing behind the chair, the board of directors has given me approval to work in the salon in a way that also works for me. It’s a strange concept. Those in the salon industry are service providers and most years there is no shortage of service to provide. I think our clients would prefer to give up eating than coming in to be coiffed. Luckily this means that in a down economy we are not put out of business by overseas commerce, down-sizing or robots. Though I can tell you I am pretty darned sure I’ve worked next to a few robots in the past.
For years I worked in Salons staffed with 30 or more. It was fun, energetic hip and absolutely dysfunctional. I loved it at the time, hustle bustle, chaos, noise, drama, pressure, tawkin’ trash. As the years have marched on I have realized I prefer a quieter more relaxed, more exclusive setting.

I am quite lucky to work with another beauty veteran. Miss Nora has stood behind the chair and logged in far more up-do’s, shampoo sets, razor cuts, hair colours, clipper cuts, beard trims and permanent waves than I have. She still loves her work (probably due to all the fumes she has inhaled). She arrives early every day, with or without a bra on, a smile on her face, a lunch box full of tofu, a bottle of wine and a loaded gun.

Starting early

She joyously greets each client with a silent “OMmm”. She is fully focused on her clients and agrees with any crazy thing they say. I often hear her exclaim “yes, that’s the best!”. She is an expert bullet dodger and smile maker; a supreme mood lifter. She too is on the Orenda products and moves energetically and nimbly through her day. She is nothing short of remarkable. Her clients come in as much to look better as to feel better. Miss Nora has a true gift – she is present. With all her vibrancy, she mysteriously has created a rather still life. “How does she do it?” many of us ponder. For this reason, her nickname is ‘stealth’. Stealth is still accepting new clients, though best to book one telepathically.

Then, there is Monsieur Maurice. He is more of a Parfumeur, a creator of aromas. His own special brand of eau de toilette is well……. heavy on the toilet. He is such an expert he can often overpower of the Perm scent emanating from Miss Nora’s kingdom (a.k.a station). Monsieur Maurice is also self-appointed door man. He pretty much ‘works for attention’, so depending on the daily ration he can either be found dead asleep on a random surface or barking and leaping and attempting to perfect he French Kiss on any mouth within reach.

Maurice sits on his victim

Due to his eager nature and tireless work ethic, one can generally get an appointment with Monsieur Maurice within a few minutes.

Another co-worker  is Madmoiselle Babbette. She is simply a Queen, the grand dame. She is wise beyond her size. She can work a hat or a gown as well as any super model on a catwalk. She is part time floor manager, part time sofa warmer and the head of the snuggling department. That tiny little lady brightens the day of those she chooses to shower with her burps, snuffles and occasional bufas.

Mademoiselle Babbette charming an audience

Due to her popularity, her appointment book is generally chock full of overnights, walks, play dates, nail trimming and shampooing. She does keeps a cancellation list however, and responds to bribes of All in One Canine, raw bones, trips abroad, and tamari covered rice cakes. She is a scorpio and likes long walks on the beach.

Then of course there is me –
Racing in every morning. I suffer from the genes of my mother who cannot leave the house just once, there is always the repeated returns for forgotten items. I do arrive wearing a bra however. I have the unfortunate gift of being able to track 8 things at a time, so while I am focused on the beauty in my chair I am also stewing on a plan for peace in the Middle East and inventing a cordless blow dryer or wondering exactly how bees ‘do it’. Generally in my little kingdom in front of the mirror we are laughing, or discussing human behaviour, strange sex acts, bodily functions or simply how to be better organized – the list is long, and since I am a steel trap, you’ll just have to be there to get all the juicy details. Beauty, world peace, a better mouse trap, a cleaner counter, a smoother running office…………..everything becomes clearer in front of the mirror and behind the chair, and that clarity once again proves, that it always comes back to the follicle.

Serving and Protecting through follicle enhancement

Do you have a story about doing hair or having your hair done? 
If so, i want to hear from you for my Book Project. Please leave your comment and we’ll ‘Tawk”.
If you have a friend who could use a lift today, I hope you’ll pass this on.



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