That's the way I roll

by Simone on December 29, 2011

No matter how chic, how cool, how hip a person is (or is trying to be) when it comes to the bowling alley, it’s an even playing field. Pretty much everyone can relax and let it all hang out at the alleys. I’ve seen Vegans inhaling real (can a hot dog be called real?) hot dogs. The teetotaler slugging down cerveza, the pious slinging curse words, the self conscious folk busting moves and the shy caught hooting, hollering, leaping and head-butting. It must be those shoes. Everyone looks alike in them. Every outfit is overpowered by the bowling shoe. The lanes are one place you’ll almost never see a skirt or dress, even on a drag queen. What would be the point? The latest Gucci sheath with a pair of bowling shoes? It’s just not gonna happen.

I know it will come as no surprise that the hairstyle continues to reign supreme. Everyone knows that even the bowling shoe cannot take a good ‘do’ down. Bowlers may have given up on their bowling ensemble but look around and you’ll see hair pride abounds.

It’s almost impossible to judge the book by it’s cover at the bowling alley. My Orenda bowling teammates and I have been 100% wrong when trying to do so.

We are smart, accomplished entrepreneurial types: a dentist, two hair stylists, A human resource expert, an airport employee and a salon manager. We were sporting our Team Orenda bowling shirts.

To us it looked like the team on alley # 2 were checkers at Walmart, but once chatted up, we found out they are proctologists.
We declared it a no squatting zone and toasted them with “bottoms up!” each time they threw a gutter ball.
Alley #3 appeared to be undertakers, but when questioned, admitted they are lawyers. We liked them better as undertakers.
The couple on alley #1 who were using handles of tweetie and muffin were celebrating their silver anniversary. There were a bunch of Betties on Alley # 6 we pegged as fashionistas, and indeed, they were certified Bra-fitters and of course, great good fun.

Let me point out that my beloved Grandma was an ace bowler, She always had the ball, the bag, the pressed shirt and a freshly whipped up coiffure that just shouted “STRIKE!”. So I know from experience that we try to compensate for a bad toss by having a fab ‘do’. It doesn’t really help when the numbers are posted on the screen for everyone to view however, but it does go a long way with team spirit.

I know this must come as a shock, but hair seems to have almost nothing to do with skill or aim.
Often hair matches the person, their style of dress, car seats, cocktail napkin or their dog. But at the lanes there seems no correlation.

Who knew?

I carefully studied the technique after giving the hairstyle (or lack of) a once over. Curly hair didn’t seem to assist in the strike. Long hair didn’t lead to gutter balls. A bald pate didn’t equal the humongus heavy ball.
The shoes are cool in a geeky way, the bowling shirts are sublime, but the hair, that’s where it all seems to go wrong. This is one place where the hairstyle proved to be unreliable.

side note- A woman i know enjoys her Sunday mornings at a local bread bakery where the queue is always out the door. She takes her hobby of ‘Beauty Patrol Captian” seriously and sits inside whie rating the clientele’s hair to outfit ratios. She usually submits her report the following week. I fully expect to see her holding up numbers like at the Olympics: 9.7.9 – it might hurt business, but then again, that bread is soooooo good, most folk would risk a bad rating to score a few choice loaves.

Imagine; if the hair was head turning (like grandma’s) and the outfit was striking, just how far a person could go in life? A good ‘do’ can make almost anything come together. You can be one with the ball, one with the pin, one with the team and one with your maker for pete’s sake!

Because when the last ball rolls, it all comes back to the follicle.

Do you have a story about doing hair or having your hair done? 
If so, i want to hear from you for my Book Project. Please leave your comment and we’ll ‘Tawk”.
If you have a friend who could use a lift today, I hope you’ll pass this on.

-Simone

 

 

 

 

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